The Family Practitioner Read online

  ‘Here, let me rub it.’ Matt hoisted her feet onto his lap and began working his fingers up and down her calf muscle. ‘Better?’ He gave her a fleeting smile.

  ‘Much.’

  ‘Stay here, then. I’ll make the coffee.’

  ‘No, I should walk around,’ she insisted. ‘Help me up, Matt.’

  He did, turning her to face him, spreading his hands over her hips and looking deeply into her eyes. ‘Thank you, Joanna,’ he said, his voice gruff and not quite even.

  She nodded, knowing what he meant. No further words were necessary.

  They made the coffee together and Joanna opened a packet of chocolate biscuits. She wrinkled her nose at him. ‘Can’t have you going without your energy hit.’

  His lopsided smile was edged with vulnerability. ‘You’re getting to know me so well.’

  ‘Would that be such a bad thing?’

  He didn’t answer.

  They were halfway through their coffee when Matt said quietly, ‘Tell me about Jason’s father.’

  ‘Damon.’ Joanna’s voice softened over the name. ‘He was lovely. We met when I’d just completed my HSC—Higher School Certificate for you Queenslanders.’

  Matt chuckled. ‘We call it Senior Certificate. Go on with your story.’

  ‘I’d just turned eighteen. Damon was twenty. We met at a party. Damon was there celebrating being picked for the state rugby squad. We connected—it was as simple as that. Six months later we were married.’

  ‘Your parents didn’t object?’

  ‘Strenuously. But not because they didn’t like Damon—everyone did. They thought we were both too young. But we knew we wanted to be together, properly married—not just living together.’ Her mouth lifted in a token smile. ‘That probably sounds a bit old-fashioned.’

  ‘On the contrary. It sounds very Joanna-ish.’ Matt took her hand, kissing it on the way to his lap. ‘And that’s meant as a compliment.’

  ‘Thanks.’ She took a sip of her coffee and leaned over to place the mug on the side table. ‘We had a nice little town house in Canberra. I’d begun at university. Damon was involved with his sporting commitments and studying part time. Life was busy and we were as happy as larks.’ Her voice faded and then she went on quietly, ‘Six months later, Damon was diagnosed.’

  ‘Oh, God…’ Matt closed his eyes, picturing her heartache.

  ‘Yes, well, the cancer was very aggressive. He, um, died within three months.’

  ‘Was there nothing they could do?’

  Joanna shook her head. ‘Nothing that could halt it. And don’t forget we’re talking about the situation years ago. We’ve come a long way with cancer research since then.’

  His knuckles brushed her cheek. ‘How did you bear it?’

  Joanna lifted her head and smiled through the sheen of tears that had sprung out of nowhere. She brushed them away with the tips of her fingers. ‘We spent every minute we could together. Damon was so strong spiritually—and I leant on him when it probably should have been the other way round. I was pregnant by then. And we discussed names—Katie for a girl, Jason if I was carrying a boy…’

  ‘He’d have been very proud of Jason,’ Matt said generously.

  ‘Yes, he would. The end was swift but we’d said our goodbyes long before. And it was all right. He had no more pain.’

  For a long time then they clung together, letting their memories push past the blockade they’d struggled to make emotion-tight.

  Eventually, Matt murmured against her temple, ‘We’ve been a couple of weeping willows tonight, haven’t we?’

  ‘But it’s been good, though, hasn’t it? Cleansing.’

  ‘Mmm.’ Matt tangled his fingers in hers and linked them over his heart. ‘Like a dose of salts.’

  ‘Peasant!’ Lifting their entwined hands, Joanna thumped his chest.

  ‘Ouch!’ He pretended to fall backwards, taking her with him so that she landed on top of him. She put her face down to his and they pressed foreheads, touched noses. And laughed softly. It was laughter born of pain, the pain of remembering. But having remembered and let go, they could now begin to heal.

  It was late and the fire had all but gone out.

  Matt roused himself, unwinding himself off the sofa, pulling her upright with him. He looked down at her, lifting his hands to bracket her face. ‘I should make tracks…’

  A breathless pause while she took the words in. Then she said softly, ‘I don’t think so, Doctor.’ She raised her hands, burying them in the soft thick hair at his nape. ‘If you think I’m turfing you out in that rain, think again.’

  A beat of silence.

  ‘Joanna?’ He said her name with a rich huskiness that rippled along her skin.

  ‘Yes,’ she breathed, leaving him in no doubt what she wanted, hearing her own heartbeat, already feeling the imprint of his body on hers. And recognising the ripples of her own need, she clung to him.

  Matt steadied her head, kissing her with a slow series of caresses, a delicate, tormenting exploration, the touch of his mouth feather-like, silken, intoxicating.

  Joanna wound her arms more tightly around him, revelling in the muscled contours of his back, the ridges that flexed beneath her fingertips. A king tide of need overcame her, shocking her in its intensity.

  Drawing back, she whispered his name as the fire-light made soft shadows on the wall and ceiling.

  She woke as early morning filtered through the chinks in the blinds, flashbacks of the night coming back in a rush of remembered pleasure of the kind of passion she’d all but forgotten.

  Matt.

  She leaned up on her elbow to gaze at him. His dark hair was askew, sticking up in little tufts. She smiled. He looked absurdly youthful, so vulnerable in sleep. As she continued to watch him, his eyes opened, their direct blueness flooding her body with warmth.

  ‘Good morning.’ He shifted closer, nuzzling the side of her throat, while his hand slid up her rib cage to encircle her breast.

  ‘Morning…’ The greeting was indistinct, happening a breath before their lips met and clung, beginning a whole new voyage of tender exploration that set her senses spinning away and afterwards pondering soberly her great good fortune at having twice in a lifetime found her soul mate.

  A long time later, they lay face to face, their arms loosely linked around each other.

  ‘What are we going to do this morning?’ Matt asked lazily, his fingers in her hair, gathering it up and letting it tumble away. ‘Shall we have breakfast in bed?’

  ‘Please—no!’ Joanna pretended to shudder. ‘After enduring Mother’s Day breakfasts in bed over ten or more years, I’ve kind of gone off it.’

  Matt chuckled. ‘Tell me about it.’

  ‘Oh, Jason used to bring me a cup of tea made with hot water from the tap. And burnt toast with big holes in the middle where he’d tried to spread the butter straight from the fridge.’

  ‘Ye gods. Did you eat it?’

  ‘Of course I ate it.’ Her eyes became soft. ‘He was such a sweet little boy.’

  ‘And now he’s almost a foot taller than you.’

  ‘Kids grow up so fast, don’t they?’

  ‘Yes, they do.’

  His voice had become wistful and Joanna wondered if he was thinking of his little boy who had never made it to manhood. ‘I made a very thoughtless comment to you once, Matt.’

  ‘Did you?’ he murmured, and she turned her head into the hollow of his shoulder and placed a tender kiss on his skin.

  ‘I accused you of never having been a parent. And you went all quiet. I know why now.’

  ‘Water under the bridge. You weren’t to know.’

  ‘About then you seemed to give up on us.’

  ‘You and your son seemed a fairly impenetrable unit,’ he said gruffly. ‘I didn’t want to place more pressure on you. It was obvious Jason was taking all your time and energy.’

  ‘But I could have made room for you.’

  He eased away from her,
stroking her hair back from her face. ‘Emotionally, it all got too hard. You were the first woman I’d related to since Nicola. I didn’t know where to step, what to think. It just seemed safer to distance myself.’

  She made a small contrite sound. ‘Thank heavens Deb said something.’

  ‘Oh, sweetheart,’ he whispered and, folding her back into his arms, cradled her lovingly against his chest. After a while, he repeated, ‘So what are we going to do this morning, Dr Winters?’

  Joanna stirred and stretched. ‘Read the Sunday papers and have a nice leisurely breakfast?’

  He kissed the tip of her nose. ‘Sounds good. I’ll go out and get the papers while you fix breakfast, then.’

  ‘Hey, wait a minute!’ She sent him an indulgent, half-amused look. ‘What about a bit of role reversal here? I’ll go out and get the papers and you can fix breakfast.’

  ‘Ah…’ He smiled lopsidedly. ‘Got any cornflakes?’

  ‘When do you expect Jason home?’ Matt looked at Joanna over the Sunday supplement. The rain had cleared away, leaving a bright, sparkling morning, and they’d had breakfast on the deck and were lingering over their coffee.

  ‘They were breaking camp at lunchtime, I think,’ she responded absently. ‘They’ll probably be back in Glenville about four. Why?’

  Matt’s gaze deepened. ‘I just wondered how you wanted to play this—us?’

  ‘I hadn’t thought…’ It had all seemed so natural to have Matt here this morning. So right. In fact, she’d gone so far as to wondering when he’d want to move in.

  ‘Perhaps we shouldn’t be too overt around Jason at this point,’ he said carefully.

  ‘You mean you don’t want to come to the house?’ Joanna’s rapidly fired question mirrored her surprise.

  Matt didn’t answer directly. ‘Jason has a fair bit on his plate at the moment. Before he went off me, we had a few good talks. He’s set his long-term goal on earning a living through sport. And with his inherited physical attributes and his own natural talent, he’s got a more than fair chance of succeeding.’

  She lowered her gaze. ‘He’s very keen to get a scholarship to the Australian Institute of Sport in Canberra.’

  ‘There you are, then.’

  A frown flickered in her eyes. ‘None of that can happen until he’s finished high school at the end of next year, Matt.’

  ‘But from here on, in order to have some credentials when he applies, he has to make every post a winner, beginning with this inter-schools athletics meet coming up.’

  ‘How did you know about that?’

  His mouth compressed for a moment. ‘I’ve been approached to provide the medical cover for the event. Will you be going?’

  ‘Purely as a parent,’ Joanna specified. ‘Unless you want me as back-up?’

  ‘No, of course not.’ His reply was gruff. ‘You’re entitled to have time off to watch your son compete.’

  Joanna smiled, although it cost her an effort. Why did she feel there was some kind of subplot here? Something he was keeping to himself? ‘So, what point are you making, then?’

  ‘Right now, Jason needs to keep focused.’ Matt’s gaze stayed firmly averted. ‘He doesn’t need distractions.’

  ‘So you’d rather he didn’t know about us,’ Joanna said flatly.

  ‘Joanna, we’re the adults here.’ Reaching across, he laid his hand over hers and squeezed. ‘We can wait.’

  She swallowed. ‘How long did you have in mind?’

  ‘Not long.’ His mouth compressed for a moment. ‘Just long enough for Jason to get his athletics meet over. He’s championship material, sweetheart. He needs his chance.’ Matt paused, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms. ‘Look, I have no hidden agenda here. I just don’t want to be the cause of Jason getting distracted and stuffing up his sporting future. I care about both of you too much to let that happen.’

  Joanna was touched. ‘Do you, Matt?’ she asked softly.

  ‘Of course I do.’ He was still for a moment, then he let his breath go in a ragged sigh. ‘Joanna, I have to take a back seat for the moment and our plans may have to stay on hold for a while, that’s all.’

  She nodded slowly, understanding. Their time would come. Somehow, she’d have to hang on to that thought.

  CHAPTER NINE

  A BIT dispiritedly, Joanna tidied up from her last patient of the day. Two weeks on from the magic of discovering how much they meant to each other, she and Matt had made love only once.

  Chance would be a fine thing, she huffed silently, swinging her chair round to the computer to bring her notes up to date on her patient, Karen Trevor. The young athlete was suffering from premenstrual tension, but in such an extreme form it was affecting her capacity to train and perform.

  With several big meets scheduled over the next twelve months, Karen had been in a state, wondering how on earth she was going to compete and keep faith with her sponsors.

  Drastic problems needed drastic solutions, Joanna decided, her preferred course of action being to try altering the timing of the young woman’s menstruation. It required quite involved advanced planning and the taking of a suitable progesterone-only contraceptive at a set time during the cycle prior to the one to be altered.

  She tapped in the last of her notes. But before she did anything, she’d consult with Matt. And before they did anything at all, Karen would need clearance from a gynaecologist.

  She thought of Matt as she drove home. It was only a week since they’d taken a longer than usual lunch-break and gone to his flat. But somehow it seemed like a year.

  ‘I want you so badly, I’m afraid I’ll hurt you,’ he’d breathed, his control drawn so taut he was shaking.

  ‘You won’t hurt me…’ She’d reached up and stroked the lean length of his back. ‘I need you just as much…’

  Oh, lord, she fretted, where will it all end?

  ‘I’m home,’ she called, and Jason appeared like magic from his bedroom. ‘What’s happened?’ One keen look had told her that her son was bubbling with subdued excitement.

  Jason, grinning broadly, dangled a piece of paper in front of her. ‘I won the history essay competition!’

  Joanna dropped her bag and hugged him. ‘Well done, you! That’s brilliant! When are we off to Sydney?’

  He looked awkward for a second. ‘It’s the weekend after next, but I’ve, um, called Grandad Winters to go with me. You’re not into science that much and I thought—’

  ‘Hey, that’s OK.’ Joanna felt immediately guilty at her relief. With her son away she could have time with Matt. ‘So, where is Grandad meeting you?’

  ‘He’ll fly in from Canberra and we’ll meet at the airport. It’ll be excellent!’

  And for her and Matt, too. Joanna couldn’t wait to tell him next morning. ‘Fancy a weekend just to ourselves?’ She explained the circumstances.

  His smile was worth waiting for. ‘A whole weekend!’

  Joanna reached out and caressed his face. ‘It’s hardly a whole weekend, I suppose. Jason flies to Sydney on Saturday morning and he’s back again on Sunday afternoon.’

  His lips brushed hers lightly, like thistledown. ‘It’s a lot more than we’ve had lately, though, isn’t it? Let’s go out somewhere fancy on the Saturday night. I want to show you off.’

  Life had the darnedest way of altering your plans, Joanna was to think wryly the following week. A phone call from Steffi Phillips began it all.

  ‘Joanna, could I come and see you?’ Steffi was hesitant.

  ‘Professionally?’ Joanna was immediately concerned.

  ‘Ah, no, not really. I need to talk and you said if I did…’

  ‘I’m free after four this afternoon, Stef. Can you make it then?’

  Steffi could.

  ‘So, what’s going on?’ Joanna had sat Steffi down near the window in her office and poured them each a coffee.

  Steffi made a small face. ‘I hate working at the Strachan these days—well, it’s not the Strachan any m
ore,’ she retracted. ‘It’s now called Northside 24. Because it’s open twenty-four hours a day,’ she explained.

  Joanna looked taken aback. ‘It sounds more like the name of a motel.’

  ‘It may as well be,’ Steffi huffed disparagingly. ‘With patients and staff coming and going all over the place. It’s not the same at all. I hate it. And my hours are all over the place as well…’

  Joanna could sense the young woman’s desperation. Life for Steffi had improved so much over the last few months. It would be a shame to see her feeling overwhelmed again. She took a thoughtful mouthful of her coffee, wondering how she could help.

  Suddenly, and with blinding clarity, the solution came to her. ‘Would you like to come and work here, Stef? We’re desperate for a friendly, efficient office manager.’

  ‘Here?’ Steffi squeaked, and took a moment to take it in. Then her face fell. ‘You’re just being kind as usual, Joanna. Manufacturing a job for me.’

  ‘Listen to me.’ Leaning forward, Joanna took Steffi’s wrist. ‘We’ve been managing piecemeal for office help for ever. We all do what we can ourselves and Matt sends the less confidential bits out to an agency, but it would be the answer to a prayer if you could see your way clear to come and work here. It really would.’

  Eyes alight, Steffi clasped her hands to her chest. ‘Are you sure? Won’t you have to run it past Dr McKellar or something?’

  Joanna’s head went back in a laugh. ‘I’ll tell him I’ve found us an office angel. He’ll go along with that.’

  ‘I’d love the job, then.’ Steffi whirled up from her chair. ‘I don’t even want to know the terms and conditions. I know they’ll be fair.’ She grinned. ‘It’ll be fab, working with you again, Joanna. And I’ll start as soon as I can,’ she promised. ‘Oh—there was one other thing.’ Steffi went a bit pink. ‘Could you and Jason sit with Mum on Saturday night? Kim Newlands has asked me out. Well, our birthdays are only a couple of days apart…’

  ‘And you’d like to celebrate together,’ Joanna added kindly, seeing her own ‘fancy’ evening out with Matt vanish like leaves in the wind. ‘Tell your mum it’ll be just me, though. Jason’s off on his prize trip to Sydney.’